I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Found the puke drawer
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
