can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
