I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
