i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
