Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
