Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
