I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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