anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
