I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
