Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I want her autograph on my taint
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
