her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
