is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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