OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
