Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
