Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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