I hope mine doesn't look like that
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize