she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
