Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize