SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
