Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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