can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
