you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
