Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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