I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
