Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
