Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
