It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
