i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
