they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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