I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He passed out mid-signature
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
