I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize