I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We're using joints as your birthday candles
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
