I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
