I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
