Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
