"it" just moved
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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