Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
