So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
