I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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