Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
