i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
