People with herpes should wear stickers.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
