party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
