my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
If I die, sorry about rent.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
