Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
