bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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