and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
