Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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