i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize