I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
