chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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