dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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