conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
