Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
