my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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