im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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