do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
