I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
