I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
