he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
