its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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