speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
