How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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