hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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