I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
