I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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