It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
