So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize