I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Vodka?
Forever.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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