you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
