i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
