how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
