just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
