Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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